Red

My Current Profile

I stumbled across this post while perusing some archives and I thought it would be fun to do it again. Items that no longer apply are crossed out. New stuff is italicized.

1. Clothing

  • Comfy in jeans, a T-shirt, and flip-flops

  • Dress-up in a dress or a skirt

  • Don't worry about name brand

  • Kind of a flashy dresser (likes colorful stuff)

  • Tries to make an effort to wear something nice, even if it's basic.

  • Loves shoes.


2. Social Status

  • Middle class

  • A few close friends

  • A lot of acquaintances

  • Keeps in touch with former coworkers.


3. Vocalization

  • Slurs some words

  • Tries to speak correct English

  • Low pitched voice

  • Speaks fast

  • Regular tone of voice


4. Education

  • Well-educated

  • Always gone to Catholic school

  • wants to attend college

  • Attending Indiana Wesleyan University. Hopes to graduate within a year.

  • Graduated from IWU with a Bachelor's Degree.

  • Misses school, but not tests or papers. Thinks about going back to school but can't fathom adding to current student loans.


5. Religion

  • Catholic

  • Not deeply rooted in faith

  • Loves her Catholic faith, even through all the questions.


6. Morals

  • Believes in premarital sex Understands the church's teachings on premarital sex, although she doesn't always follow it.

  • Abortion is wrong as a general rule

  • Believe strongly in bettering myself


7. Emotions

  • Very emotional person over friends, parents, guys, school, and goodbyes. Especially guys.

  • Very passionate about beliefs.


8. Physical & Mental Health

  • Not insane.

  • Physically fitDecently fit. Probably should get back into a regular gym routine.

  • Sometimes enjoy mental challenges. Sometimes.

  • Loves dance. Goes to the gym begrudgingly, but enjoys sore muscles after a good workout.

  • Got a tattoo a year ago and toying with two new tattoo ideas.


9. Body Language & Gestures

  • Talks with hands

  • Casual body language

  • Has expressive eyes and eyebrows (especially the eybrows!!) (ed note: the teacher wrote, "Yes you do!")

  • Tries to sit up straight.


10. Hygiene

  • Good hygiene habits.

  • Enjoys a clean environment.

  • Not overly concerned with appearance, but still takes time to look nice.


11. Family

  • Oldest of seven

  • Two parent family, mom passed. brother passed

  • Four boys, three girls

  • Three boys adopted

  • One set grandparents dead Both grandmothers and one grandfather dead.

  • Close to grandparents

  • Keeps in touch with relatives

  • Italian, but don't always participate in all affairs. but doesn't really have Italian traditions.

  • Interested in Irish dance


12. Physical Limitations

  • No physical limitations/disabilities, except for knees and ankles that act up.

  • Height = 5'4"

  • Average weight and build.

  • Medium to slender bodyframe.


13. Economics

  • Middle class.

  • Lives comfortably.

  • Slowly starting to save money.

  • Close to owning my car outright. Purchased a car, turned it in, and now leasing a car.

  • A decent amount of student loans to pay off once I'm done with school.


14. Likes

  • Food: Italian, fast food, salsa, good salads, pasta, steak, new food.

  • Music: Rock, can sometimes listen to Country, Jazz, Blues, R&B, Classical, Pop

  • Hobbies: Drama, Singing, Irish dance, Reading, Wine

  • Interests: Books, INDIANS!!, History, Wine

  • TV: Can survive without if there's access to movies or the internets, Likes movies but prefers to read

  • Computers: Can usually get around a program, Enjoys learning about them. Works for an IT company, has an IT degree, and installs software.


15. Talents

  • Irish dance

  • Singing

  • Piano

  • Theater

  • baking


16. Career

  • Looking into teaching Probably would get arrested for throwing things at students.

  • Looking into secretarial Wouldn't mind being an Admin, but perhaps in 20 years or so.

  • Currently an Implementation Specialist. New job title, but do basically do the same thing.

  • Wants to get into Project Management, once I wrap my head around not doing techy things.

  • Wants to get into some sort of management career. Once I can learn to say something other than "suck it up" when people complain


17. Marriage

  • Wants to get married.

  • Not planning life around getting married.


18. Posture/Way I walk

  • Don't always stand up straight.

  • Sometimes slouch in my seat.

  • Kind of walk into my hips.

  • Stroll walk when I'm not in a hurry.

  • Walk and run on the balls of my feet.

  • Tend to pull out a few dance moves while standing...and definitely when drinking.


19. Astrology

  • Sometimes read horoscopes.

  • Don't live life by horoscope.


20. Gender

  • Female

Red

Deceptive but Hopeful

The Ohio sun is deceptive. You look outside and it looks beautiful and warm and inviting. And yet you walk outside and it's cold and bitter and chilling. It's a tease with a touch of hope.
  • Current Mood
    mischievous mischievous
Red

Yup

  • Current Music
    Daft Punk
Red

A Pit of Sadness

I find myself going through extreme mood swings. Depression technically. One day I'm perfectly fine and the next day - sometimes the same day - life is no good. I go through periods of hyperventilating, crying for no reason, and a pit of depair in my heart. I find distractions to get through it. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. The distractions are normally necessary. It's not as if I'm cleaning or laundring anything that doesn't need cleaned or laundered, but I know a distraction when I see one.

Life was never like this before. Yeah, I've gone through bouts of sadness at appropriate times, but certainly not these bouts of depression. And the thing is, I don't know how to cope. At least not long-term coping. How do you prepare for randomly breaking into tears? Or random hyperventilating?

I never understood depression in the past. I mean, people with perfectly good lives suffer from depression. What on earth could be wrong with them? But now I get it.
Red

Wanting What We Can't Have

Why is it we always want what we can't have? And start getting jealous when we have no room to be jealous? Especially after you thought you were fine with where you stood.

Ah...love and all the emotions that go along with it. Or something like it.
  • Current Mood
    thoughtful thoughtful
  • Tags
Red

On Letting it Out

Is it better to tell someone how you feel, just to get it over with, out of the way, off your chest, even when you're fairly certain the other person doesn't reciprocate your feelings?

Typically I don't do this. Instead I sit around waiting, hoping that they eventually feel the same as I. I have said something a few times, mostly with disastrous results. But in those instances I built my hope up so much and I had so far to fall.

Today I let it out. Without much hope. Almost as an after thought...which is what it was really. I hadn't planned to say it, but the opportunity presented itself and I knew that I couldn't survive many more months of wondering and not knowing. And like I thought, the feelings aren't there. But now I can move on, knowing that I tried and didn't get my hopes dashed too much. Hopefully the friendship is still there. Because I like that, the friendship. Losing that may be worse than losing the potential.
  • Current Mood
    happy happy
  • Tags
Red

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

I have a picture of you at my desk. Well, it's really a headshot that I put on a button. It's taped to the corner of one of my monitors. Someone asked if there was a funny story about the button. No...not really.

I made you my desktop background at work during November. Some people thought you were a model. Others wondered if you were a famous Asian pop-star. They got quiet when I told your story.

For some reason people decided to ask about you at last night's Christmas party. Talk about a downer. Most days I don't mind talking about you, but I couldn't handle it last night.

I still miss you. I still don't understand. I don't know that I'll ever understand.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad
  • Tags
Red

My Addiction to Books

When I retire I need to work with books. Either the library or a bookstore - I don't know that I have a preference. My favorite job to date was working at the library. Don't get me wrong. I love my job and I'm very good at my job. But I love books more. Unfortunately the library can't pay me as much as I make now. Or at least I presume this to be the case. So I'll stick with my current job and then switch to books when I retire.

I visited The Book Loft today. It's one of the largest independent bookstores in the country and features 32 rooms, each of which has a CD player with different music in each room. In other words - heaven on earth. I think we were there for two hours and I could've stayed longer. I walked out with 7 books, 2 of which were presents. Fortunately I was with friends, which really forced me to leave. I walked in knowing that I was going to buy a few books, but definitely didn't plan to spend just under $100. I didn't pay full price for any of them, although my discounts may have only been 75 cents. I also added 5 books to my "To Read" list.

I spent the most time in the autobiography section. There's something about memoirs that appeal to me. Here you can find writers who write about themselves but find a way to make the story sound like fiction. It's pretty easy for me to purchase a memoir without knowing anything about it. I have to have background on a work of fiction before I'll purchase it. Normally my recommendations are from friends, but I'm a big fan of Nancy Pearl. I've purchased several books she's recommended and really enjoyed them. I like the way she describes the books. You can hear her enthusiasm on the radio. One of these days I'll get around to reading her book just to get more recommendations. At that point I'll definitely need another bookshelf.
  • Current Mood
    accomplished accomplished
  • Tags
Red

Sharing Part of your Soul

I still find books and music to be one of the best gifts. To me, it's like I'm receiving a part of you. A part of your soul that you choose to share with me, in the hopes that I too will be just as enamored with this book or song or artist. Such a personal gift in such a tiny package.
Red

Ignoring Reality

Why is it that as women we ignore the actions of a man we like? We pay attention to what he says, the meaning between what he says, and what we think he says. But when it comes to what he's actually doing - we skip it. How do we stop holding onto this thought process to allow ourselves to find someone new?
  • Current Mood
    worried worried
  • Tags